Then things went terribly wrong. I weighed in & felt great I lost over 2kgs going from 76.6 to 73.7. I was on track to reaching my goal by th…e end of February of 65kg only 8.7kg to go. My head space tho was not that great I panicked and thought I need to keep losing over 2kg a week then I sabotaged myself. I dipped back into my old habits that I fought for years to recover. I ate a high calorie meal on Friday night then Saturday morning I started a fat diet (1 Avo, 2 pieces of cheese & 1 slice of bacon shared over 3 days every 3 days), – highly unhealthy & not sustainable. As a Personal Trainer I know this logically I knew what damage I was doing to my body & if any of my clients tortured themselves like this I would refuse to train them and insist they speak to a nutritionist or their GP. It’s dangerous.
But I’m human and I became so focused on that 2,3,4kg loss in one week it consumed me. Not only did I do that I also secretly went to train 3/4 times a day. This caused a massive break in my body and mind after such a short time and two days ago it culminated into absolutely no energy, totally flat and could not even ‘hang out the washing’ (exercise).
It was embarrassing & de motivating the entire 45 minutes I absolutely resented! I had punished my body so hard it began shutting down – I was violently ill that night & was bed ridden that day. Now I tell you this not because I’m proud of it I’m telling you this because even as a Personal Trainer who knows better self worth sometimes doesn’t exist. A weight loss journey is meant to be hard but fun. Your meant to be determined & passionate but not to the detriment of your mind or body. My story makes me great at my job because I know what can happen but it’s also my strength to keep pushing. I do my job because I don’t want people to suffer the way I make myself – I want to stop it before it starts!
It’s a promotion of self love & self worth that is so important to me and drives me every training season I take & the ones I complete.
Enjoy the ride & remember your not alone